Notice

Well, I guess I’ll get right into it. Tomorrow morning I am giving my notice, I have a meeting with P at 8 am. Right now, I’m not really sure how much I will give, somewhere between three and six weeks depending on how the conversation goes. But man, am I DREADING it. I’ve only really quit a job once before, and it was not pleasant. There was a lot of “Are you going to not show up next week or are you going to be a man?” and while my boss on the ship is nothing like that, I know there will be a lot of stress and disappointment associated with my notice. P is a strung out guy, he is constantly sweating the small stuff, and I really don’t want to put more on his plate; but I’m positive I want to leave at this point. The only thing that would be keeping me here is the desire to not upset people by giving my notice, and that is definitely not where I want to be.

To prepare for the meeting, I typed out a quick ditty so I have a more concrete idea of what to say. There are no printers here and I don’t know exactly when I’ll leave, so it isn’t a resignation letter by any means. It is as follows….

“I am informing you of my __ weeks’ notice. I want you to know that this is not spur of the moment decision. When I first arrived, we spoke about my concerns about working here, and I left that conversation with a desire to really give a chance to life on the ship. After having done this, I have unfortunately come to the conclusion that it is not for me. This has not been an easy decision to make, as I respect you both as a supervisor and a musician, and I like the band members.  

I don’t feel this living environment or the occupation of professional musician is a good fit. I was offered an opportunity with another employer that is more in line with my current life goals and chosen career path. I want to thank you for providing me with this opportunity, and I have learned a lot in my short time here.”

After I paraphrase this, I foresee P rubbing his face a lot and asking me a few frantic questions.

The thing I am dreading the most is the period after giving my resignation. I know the alternative is to leave the band high and dry, but giving around a month’s notice is going to be trying. I am going to continue to perform the music as best I can, and I want to be present, but I can’t help but thinking that my mind will be elsewhere. I also have no idea how this will impact the relationships with the other musicians, who knows, maybe it will improve them because I’ll give less of a shit about things. All I know is that in the past, working after giving resignation has been awkward and I hope it is not this way on the ship.

So this other job… a few posts ago I wrote about a job offer from a conference center I used to work at and me turning it down. A few days after that, I called them up again and asked whether the job, kitchen supervisor, was still open. They told me that unfortunately it was not, but, the position of assistant food service manager/executive chef was. Essentially, it’s the boss of the position I was originally offered. So, I applied and got it. I thought it would be a no brainer when the offer arrived, and initially it was, but then I had a few good days on the ship and I was not so sure anymore, so I held off until now to really make a decision.   

Honestly, I had apprehensions about leaving when I first got the e-mail. I was very back and forth for the following days, but after letting my thoughts about it form and talking it out with a few people, leaving seems like the obvious choice. While things have been improving socially, this just isn’t my scene at all. I've spoken about all my issues with the social dynamic here, so I won't bore you with a rehash. At this new job I’ll have more responsibilities, more freedom in the workplace to accomplish tasks independently, get paid more, and have six months of excellent resume building. Even so, it wasn't until today when I finally decided that it was time to start leaving this place.

Life on the ship has been pretty much the same as it has been. I had a fairly debaucherous night a few days ago where I stayed up until five drinking. It was fun but I had a multiple day hangover that I finally recovered from this morning. We also played the best dance set since I’ve been here this past Friday, it was a good feeling but honestly I was a bit desensitized to it. I’m not really invested in the music we play so executing it well doesn’t reward me as much as I would like it to. Meh, I guess it is a job so I can’t really complain about creative fulfillment.

The drama I spoke about in the last post has blown over a bit, and I can play with real drumsticks again, but now I see that the issues we had are indicative of some workplace tension. The cruise director seems to be bullish, and P seems to be his favorite target. I like the both of them individually, but there is some deep seeded tension between those two. At first I thought was just a mock-rivalry to entertain the guests. However, having been around it for several weeks, now it seems more like serious contention painted over with the veneer of a customer service worker’s forced smiles. Be it superfluous rules, unnecessary micro-management, or just plain passive aggressiveness, the two of them have some issues with each other that they need to talk about, but you and I know that it is unlikely they will resolve this.

But it’s not only those two; I’ve spoken with other members of the entertainment department, and they all seem to have similar problems with their supervisors. Maybe this is just the way the professional entertainment industry is, filled with divas and control freaks, I have not had enough jobs in the field to know. Even if it isn’t, realizing the way things here actually are has been a large factor in my decision to leave. Hopefully, I can take the things I’ve learned here and apply them in my new job where I will have a supervisory role.

This coming week I am on port manning, which means I cannot leave the ship when we get into port, even Tampa. I have to do “Just ask,” which entails me standing in the lobby for a few hours and getting asked questions by guests, should be boring. The schedule for this coming week is not set in stone yet because of a new port of call we are visiting. I don’t really know what my workload will be like but it probably won’t be particularly heavy.

I have a meeting in five hours. I’m going to get some shuteye. G’night.